Isn't it something how the back-to-school season can conjure up the smell of freshly sharpened pencils and reawaken the thrill of crisp new notebooks? We're talking about that old-school charm and how we, as women journeying through midlife, can channel those warm, nostalgic feelings into our current stage of life. This episode will journey through our shared experiences of becoming empty nesters and how the echoes of back to school season still resonate with us. From the crisp fall mornings to the joy of buying school supplies, we'll indulge in a bit of reminiscing.
Here's something to chew on - what if we told you that the excitement of learning doesn't have to be left in the past? We'll explore the significance of continuous learning, community-building, and new hobbies in this stage of our lives. It's about reigniting your passions, challenging yourself, and finding cognitive stimulation through education. Plus, we'll highlight the social engagement and self-growth that comes with learning, proving it's never too late to start a new chapter.
Brace yourself for a vibrant discussion as we navigate the nuances of the fall season for midlife women. We'll share how structuring routines can boost productivity and increase work-life balance.
We'll also extend our warm welcome to new listeners worldwide, emphasizing how the change of seasons can be an opportunity to remain connected to our dreams and goals. So grab your favorite fall snack (we're partial to brownie brittle and ice cream sandwiches) and join us for a conversation as varied and exciting as the fall season itself.
Obsessions: Tish: brownie brittle Ellen: Ursa Major facial products
Tish and Ellen want to give a BIG thank you to everyone who helped support the show. And, please support us with a monthly PATREON subscription and get a quarterly live Q&A with Ellen and Tish.
Isn't it something how the back-to-school season can conjure up the smell of freshly sharpened pencils and reawaken the thrill of crisp new notebooks? We're talking about that old-school charm and how we, as women journeying through midlife, can channel those warm, nostalgic feelings into our current stage of life. This episode will journey through our shared experiences of becoming empty nesters and how the echoes of back to school season still resonate with us. From the crisp fall mornings to the joy of buying school supplies, we'll indulge in a bit of reminiscing.
Here's something to chew on - what if we told you that the excitement of learning doesn't have to be left in the past? We'll explore the significance of continuous learning, community-building, and new hobbies in this stage of our lives. It's about reigniting your passions, challenging yourself, and finding cognitive stimulation through education. Plus, we'll highlight the social engagement and self-growth that comes with learning, proving it's never too late to start a new chapter.
Brace yourself for a vibrant discussion as we navigate the nuances of the fall season for midlife women. We'll share how structuring routines can boost productivity and increase work-life balance.
We'll also extend our warm welcome to new listeners worldwide, emphasizing how the change of seasons can be an opportunity to remain connected to our dreams and goals. So grab your favorite fall snack (we're partial to brownie brittle and ice cream sandwiches) and join us for a conversation as varied and exciting as the fall season itself.
Obsessions: Tish: brownie brittle Ellen: Ursa Major facial products
Tish and Ellen want to give a BIG thank you to everyone who helped support the show. And, please support us with a monthly PATREON subscription and get a quarterly live Q&A with Ellen and Tish.
Tish. Today we are thrilled to jump into a topic that I know both of us really love and it brings back, at least for me, a flood of memories and emotions. It's back to school season, but we're going to do it with a little bit of a twist. Today we're exploring why, for us midlife women, us midlifers, and some of us don't have kids at home we still find ourselves really drawn to back-to-school excitement.
Tish:
You know, I have to admit, I always get that crazy rush of excitement when I see the new school supply aisles go up in Walmart, right, I don't know, it's just this feeling of all the possibilities, right? I guess it's just ingrained in me that during that return to school after the summer you need to grab some new notebooks and iPads and sticky notes and just get started. I hear you and Ellen. I want to stop and have a moment of silence and recognition for the mixed emotions that you and all those other newly empty nesters may be having this fall as you launch your last little one out of the nest and off to school. So you know, this is really a new phase of life for you and well, at least until the holiday break comes and they come home. But you know, while it is a good change, I wanted to recognize that it also can be a little hard too.
Ellen:
I hear you, tish, and you know what. Thanks for giving me that shout out. After 23 years of mothering, I am going to be an empty nester. That's right. I actually am an empty nester. I am part of the club and let me tell you I do have a lot of mixed feelings around this sending my youngest off to the University of Oregon, and it is really a different life. But with all that said, I do really embrace the spirit of back to school. I have always loved it. I think maybe I was a school nerd.
Tish:
So I want to talk about that special scent of new school supplies and how we should be baking a nice apple crisp in the oven while we bring them home and just rub our hands over all the new supplies. Right, For me it's just a way that I get transported back to my old school days. Right, and it's just that sense of nostalgia, really, and why it's still so. It's still such a strong pull. And why, at midlife, why are we still getting excited about this back to school season, even when our kids have flown the nest?
Ellen:
Well, I think you hit the nail on the head. It's a lot of nostalgia for us and I have to confess, here in California there isn't any crisp fall air or apple pie baking, because we're having unrelenting heat for the back to school days.
Ellen:
Kids here start in August and that's really early and it's still strange to me after all these years. You know there's no kind of crisp, leaves dropping and fall of ball games, it's just hot here. But I know we've touched on this before, but I have always been that kid that loved going back to school loved it.
Tish:
You know, I noticed last actually the last week that the cool fall air is starting at night here and even though we're still in the 90 degree days and those are not over yet. Here in South Carolina, I think it's those cool nights are making me pumpkin spice ready for some fall. Oh my gosh.
Ellen:
I forgot. I don't know how I could forget that you like a pumpkin, every thing, everything.
Tish:
Everything, yes.
Ellen:
Well, I don't think that spirit's going to hit me until late November. But before we jump into back to school vibes for midlife, let's get to the part of the show you know I love so much are weekly obsessions. Tish, what do you got for me this week?
Tish:
Okay, so this is a very scary and deadly weekly obsession. Okay, I'm just going to. I'm just going to put a warning out there that if you are on a diet of any kind, just steer clear of this because you are going to become obsessed too. And a really good friend. We were having a pool day at her house and one of our good friends, casey, came over to the house and she brought this bag of brownie brittle. Have you ever had brownie brittle? I have not, so you know those. When you make your own you know container of brownies and and the edges are crispy. You like to get those crispy edges that stick to the pan. This is what you're talking about?
Ellen:
I know exactly.
Tish:
This is a whole pan of like flat crispy bits and, but they have chocolate chip in it. Oh my God, they are off the chain and my friend Constance and I were like we could take little dollops of ice cream and make little sandwiches. I mean, these things are amazing, this whole bag and these tiny little crisps. So if you can spare it, I would definitely obsess about this one.
Ellen:
Okay, you got me on your riff of little brownie crisp ice cream chandelier.
Tish:
So what about you, Ellen? What do you bring to the table this week with obsessions?
Ellen:
Well, you know, I recently went on a road trip with two of our friends from college.
Ellen:
Two it was that bucket list trip, glamping at Mount Rushmore and Crazy Horse, and our friend, Christian, introduced me to a Vermont-based brand, like a brand of face products, and it's called Ursa Major and I think there's stars named Ursa Major. That's what it's after in the North. But this product is so clean. They have no petrochemicals, no parabens you know all of the things that we talked about with tea A few weeks ago and they have a serum that's called Mountain Glow Golden Serum. It's amazing. And they also have these face wash and face wipes. So Christian brought the face wipes anything wipes on the trip and of course, I had to go out and get both of them and I absolutely love them. Does my skin look dewy? I know our listeners can't see this.
Tish:
She needs to take a picture because she is looking dewy in a good way. Okay, well, I'll have to try that, because you know I like that dewy look. You do like the do, okay, alan. So let's jump right in here, and our first reason I want to talk about, of why we just are drawn to this back to school time, even at midlife, is because you know what Learning never stops.
Ellen:
Truth, truth, truth. Right there, it's true. Curiosity and learning are so key at midlife, and education is a midlife excuse me a lifelong journey. And now I think a lot of us are having a little bit more time to this right For this exploration and growth. So picking up a new hobby or enrolling in courses, you know that is one of the biggest reasons why it's great to learn, right.
Tish:
Yes, you know, I think for me, you know, this fall, this idea that fall is the time for new learning, is really kind of a holdover for my youth. For me, summer was always about fun times at the lake, having bonfires and going to the beach bars on Lake Erie, and fall was that signal that it was time to get a little more serious about school and learning. And you know what, as an adult, fall still brings that mood of fresh starts and time to learn something new. So, ellen, tell me what is something that you want to learn more about?
Ellen:
Well, I have to second what you said. Summer was always a lot of fun for me going to the Jersey Shore and working and hanging out with friends, but it's true I love that call to fall learning so I always sign up for events. Right now I'm not good at like committing to a long course, but the place called the Commonwealth Club in San Francisco and they have a lot of speakers come in and also my local bookstore shout out book passages. Let's go here. Authors and so many interesting people come through there and I can just look that week and see if somebody's there.
Tish:
So are you going to go see anybody coming up?
Ellen:
Well, on Wednesday I am going to see one of my lifelong icons and somebody that I just absolutely love. Jane Fonda is speaking about activism, not just her life, but her life as an activist, and I love her. I just, I mean, she's in her late 80s and man, oh man, if we can all age like she did.
Tish:
You know she's so controversial. In a lot of ways you either love her or you don't, but you know she's relevant, she gets a conversation going and she took on some big issues at very sensitive time. So to me she is gutsy. Yes.
Ellen:
She is gutsy and so I love learning in that way. Tish not a great big commitment, but in the fall it seems like moving to those kinds of things is a great thing to do.
Tish:
And so reason number two is this is really a great time for a fresh start, also on our personal goals, right?
Ellen:
Yeah, I mean, rather than new years, right Back to school. Is that clean slate, that fresh start, a new teacher who doesn't know anything bad about?
Tish:
you right.
Ellen:
So let's just chat a little bit about how it's the perfect opportunity to reevaluate our personal goals. So change a job, train for a new career, reignite a passion. I have a friend who's gone back to doing some art this fall, or just new challenges, so for me the clean slate is being an empty nester and wanting to set some goals around this aspect of my life. That is really a fall fresh start.
Tish:
Well, you know, for me I am neck deep into relaunching a new career, and so the learning curve for me had been so steep. But now that I've seen, you know, some successes happening, and I have this unbelievable feeling of pride in having learned something new, and so I'm setting new goals around this area. Ok so, especially since the learning curve was so hard for me, much harder than my last two jobs, yeah, but the idea is that, even though it was hard, I'm not too old to learn something new.
Ellen:
Well, I have to give you a big shout out and some applause. You changed completely your career and you took a big leap of faith and you really trusted in yourself and it has turned out great for you. But I know it's been a long, hard slog this summer. So you know I think it's a great example, Tisha why we need to remind ourselves that us old midlife dogs can still learn some new tricks here. So I think to some of my goals around using my free time that I'm going to have without making dinner until Thanksgiving in ways that nourish me, Right, and I can fall into that trap of scrolling and just kind of zoning out. So I want to set some goals, and one thing I did with my friend Maureen was set a goal to do a hike. I'd like to call it a climb, but I just can't. But I'm going to make the corner and make the challenging. You know that's really cool. I'm super excited about it.
Tish:
You know one of the other things that I've. Since this new job involves for me a lot of driving, I have decided to start doing learning On audible. You know learning books.
Ellen:
Way to go.
Tish:
And so that's one of my new things. But even learning new hobbies or habits can be really daunting, right, and I don't know why that is. But especially like new things at midlife, it's even more critical for our own mental well-being and as well as our personal development.
Ellen:
Yeah.
Tish:
But even to push yourself to do things, even when they're uncomfortable for you to do, because it does open up all kinds of areas like social engagement. And so this makes midlife the perfect time to jump back into some new hobbies.
Ellen:
You know, tish, I am going to go back to pickleball and I have a friend who's bringing me back in. But again, I've heard pickleball is absolutely great for that and you know I tried it. It didn't go so well for me. So I really do see the benefits of learning new things and really the cognitive stimulation of learning how to keep score and doing the shots. And you know, I think my grandmother and grandfather used to call it got to keep the mind sharp, ellen, got to keep the mind sharp, right, you know, sometimes it's those old wives tales that we hear, that we realize how important those things are.
Tish:
They knew things. They knew what worked and what didn't work. But we also see the benefits of learning new things in the expansion not only of our knowledge and skills. It opens up our perspective on the world Right. So in addition, it increases the opportunity to build new friendships and connections. I know, with me going in and learning how to play pickleball, I made so many connections and friendships. It was incredible.
Ellen:
So the benefit is it was inspirational for me to see how pickleball changed your life.
Tish:
Yeah, it wasn't just the activity. I think that's what I love about that sport so much. There is such a social aspect to it and I think, as we get older, making sure that we increase the number of people we have in our lives, and I think that becomes so important, right, yes?
Ellen:
Yes, and even engaging with people that are younger than us, because there are quite a few people at pickleball that are quite a bit younger. But I have to say, for us new empty nesters like myself, this is probably just the thing you need for your mental health, because this is a big time of change. And so, instead of worrying about you know, the kids and where they've gone, we can look and focus on ourselves and what's new and how we can really stimulate ourselves. And this goes so well Tish into the third reason, which is community and connection.
Tish:
Yeah, one thing that we can't forget is that it's the importance of that sense of community that surrounds that. Back to school time, you know, when our kids were younger it was about the parent, teacher meetings and neighborhood events and it was always a great time to connect with new people. But you know, we're exploring how we can, at midlife right for women create our own vibrant communities and but this is going to take some effort. Right, we've got to put ourselves out there. We've got again this idea of getting a little uncomfortable to try these new things, and we see that the desire was born during those days of going to school and that camaraderie that we would have and it is so essential to your mental and physical health.
Ellen:
You know I agree and also I really want to hit on that point of staying connected to our past while keeping ourselves open to making new connections. Having community is so important, as you said, to midlife health, and I have a little fact that, because I know you and I love our family, I was thinking that there is really a lot of research to demonstrate that loneliness can increase your risk of illness and premature death, and it said, in fact, it's as bad for your health as smoking.
Tish:
Wow, let's look at that. Loneliness is as dangerous to your health as smoking.
Ellen:
I mean crazy. So community is imperative. Tish right and back to school is just a great reminder to take a look at this. I know you have a vibrant group of close friends and I know you also stay connected to a lot of your, of course, college friends, but high school friends as well.
Tish:
You know I have active connections with friends from grammar school, from high school, from college obviously.
Ellen:
Obviously.
Tish:
You know, maybe not as often as I would like, but I do attempt to make an effort to keep the connections alive. But on the flip side, I also embrace meeting new people and building new friendships as well, and I know that you have a lot of friends that you know you need. You need both.
Ellen:
You need both in your lives. I noticed that you have a lot of friends in various age groups and it's always struck me that you're really good at building friendships and connections. I know that we've talked about this in the past before, but we both will miss the sports communities and I've missed the baseball community. When my son moved on from baseball I mean I've been playing golf or rowing or volleyball there was always a game to go to or some kids to drive somewhere, and my son will told me once that it wasn't watching him play, that I missed so much. But all the other moms especially, and dads in the whole community, it was like Damn right it is. I miss everybody.
Tish:
No, no, here's the thing. Now that will is not completely true. Okay, him that you know. For me I love going to watch even my friends, kids, play sports, right, yeah, I remember I so enjoyed going to see Will's volleyball game. And I go to see one of my friends, sarah, her daughter Gabby, who I affectionately, affectionately call my BFF. I love going to see her play volleyball. You know, there's something about youth sports that reminds me of my connections to all the years that I played sports as well. So you just tell Mr Will, why we love our sports parent tribes. It is also about connecting to the joys of our own past by watching them grow in their sports.
Ellen:
Yes, I will, and I love that and, it is true, it really brings back a lot, of, a lot of memories, and I too love to see my friends kids play sports. But you know what, tisha? I've also become more into watching the Golden State Warriors, our local basketball team, and I watch them with a group of girlfriends. Sometimes some of us even go to the game. So that's a segue into another one, right?
Tish:
It is. But just a little nod to that little stuff, Curry. I have a little sweet spot in my heart for that one. I'm a Curry fan.
Ellen:
I know we talk about this. Women are much more into professional sports than when we were actually growing up, right Tish.
Tish:
I don't ever recall my mother saying I want to go see a basketball game, or the only games that she ever went to see were my brother's football games or hockey games. But as far as wanting to go see professionals, no. But women are embracing sports on all levels, and all different sports. A couple of my girlfriends and I we were talking about going to watch a boxing match, so women are into sports much more these days than I think our moms had been.
Ellen:
It's true, and you can find community there If you're looking for it, I think it's a great place at midlife. What do you have for me next? What's our next?
Tish:
So reason number four that I think that we at midlife still need to embrace fall is all about the routines and the structures.
Ellen:
Yes, I think you love them, or you love them. They're huge, they're a big part of our lives.
Tish:
Yeah, and I just wanted to chat about how that back to school routine can also inspire us to find structure in our own daily lives and our own routines and how that can lead to us learning how to increase our productivity and find a better work life balance. You know I had just heard I was listening to atomic habits and it was talking about. You know, people feel like having structured routine is too rigid, but they said it. Actually, if you have a good set of habits and routines, that it actually opens up more free time for you because you get through the things that you need to get through.
Ellen:
Wow, that's really not what I was thinking. You know what I mean. It is really kind of counterintuitive. I know we're going to be doing a whole podcast on atomic habits coming up, but that is so interesting. I think creating these healthy habits Tish can be tricky and adding them one at a time, doing them the same time of the day and, you know, slowly putting them together, I think for me. I just added getting up early. I realized I wasn't working out because by the time it got to be five or six I was too tired. So I had to get up a few mornings a week, head to the gym. I can work from the lobby for a few hours and I know at least I'm going to have two or three days where I get a workout and that's really creating a routine and I feel so much more productive on those days.
Tish:
And I don't think anybody should expect of themselves to change everything overnight, and we've talked about this so many different times on different podcasts that we've done about making a change and incorporating that one small change and making a part of your routine, then adding another piece to it. The National Library of Medicine studied the most successful path to change and found that the more gradual that you make the changes, the better you will have to be able to repeat those chosen behaviors and for it to become more automatic and effortless.
Ellen:
That's incredible. And thank you for another fact here. We love our facts. We do Well, you know, love them or hate them. It sounds like routines and structure really do open up a lot of opportunities and we'll talk about that in our atomic habits. But I have to say with school, with my kids, I could never wait for school to get out, for us to have the lazy days of summer, if we could call them that and I never could wait for them to go back to school either, I think it's like you are wanting freedom from the routine instructor and then you need it back Right.
Ellen:
Yeah.
Tish:
All right.
Ellen:
Reason five and our last reason why at midlife we love back to school is tapping into that excitement and adventure of being young.
Tish:
Oh yes, Wrapping up with this list of five, let's talk about embracing youthful excitement and a spirit of adventure that that whole back to school season brings. You know, midlife doesn't mean giving up on enthusiasm. It is a chance to infuse in our lives a new energy and a new zest 100% agree.
Ellen:
It's having this good outlook. It can make or break our happiness and we shouldn't see empty nesting as the end of anything, but opening up to the best part and take that youthful excitement and bring it into midlife, to this new chapter that you're creating, this amazing life story.
Tish:
Yeah, most definitely. It was funny last year, because last year was the year for me that was all about. You know, that was my empty nest year and at one point my daughter said to me Mom, you're so busy, You're like always out and doing something. And to be honest, that was one of the best compliments ever. She could see that I was thriving and growing.
Ellen:
Yeah.
Tish:
That. You know. Stopping that being an everyday mom didn't mean my life was over. They didn't have to worry about me and feel guilty or anything like that. They knew that I was creating this great midlife chapter.
Ellen:
And you know what, tish, you've been really inspirational for me, kind of paving the way right, paving the road for me and I, you know, I think doing this podcast has given you and I so many new interests, so many new learnings and opened it up and it's really been helpful to for me going into this new phase. But it's clear that the back to school season resonates with us midlife in ways that go far beyond the classroom. So if you're feeling that twinge of excitement here in September, just know you're not alone in midlife. I mean, who doesn't love the smell of some new scented markers? Right, our midlife is all about embracing every moment and finding joy in unexpected places like back to school.
Tish:
And for me, ellen, midlife is really synonymous with being the fall time of our lives. You know, spring was our youth, summer was the time of raising families and building careers. And fall is embracing that. There is still more to learn and still room to grow. And winter, well, that'll come later, I guess. But I plan on having a nice long fall because I feel I have so much to be thankful for.
Ellen:
I love how you just put that Tish. You know, in the seasons of our lives and I think today you know we are just taking fall right on through and knocking winter on its ass. If you ask, you know, I think I'll ever tire back to school season. It holds so many great memories from my youth, from my children, and I'm looking forward to my future. And, as we say, back to school is the gateway to our favorite season, which is the fall.
Tish:
Yes.
Ellen:
All right. So thanks everyone for joining us on this week's episode and, if you like the podcast, we'd love it if you could support us with a Patreon donation. Please become a Patreon patron. Excuse me of the Positively Midlife Podcast. We'll have the link in our show notes.
Tish:
And you know, before we go, I want to give a big shout out to some new listeners that we now have from two new locations. All right, so we have new listeners from Jamaica and from Hong Kong, and I just love seeing women around the world. I'm not sure if they're expats or not, but just we want you to become part of our tribe and connect with us, so please continue to share our podcast worldwide. We are now in 48 countries around the world, so that is a huge accomplishment. I'm so excited about that. It just comes to tell you that you know we all have similar midlife experiences, no matter where we're from around the world, and we'll be back with more empowering discussions to enrich your journey through this vibrant stage of life, but until then, keep dreaming big and embracing the magic of midlife.
Ellen:
Welcome to Jamaica and Hong Kong and next week this life first.
