The Guilty Pleasure of Reality TV - Ep. 90

Ever found yourself spellbound by the whirlwind romances an dramatic fallouts of reality TV? This week on Positively Midlife, we peel back the curtains with our guest Laura Heinrich to reveal our own obsessions with shows like "Indian Matchmaker" and, "Married at First Sight" the latest sensation "The Golden Bachelor."

For the weekly obsessions, Tish dishes the lowdown on a kitchen gadget she just can't live without , while Ellen share her latest cozy fashion find - a hoodie that's become my her go to for work from home and California's relentless winter rain. Not to be outdone, our guest Laura brings her flair to the table with an Amazon ring set that's as stylish as it is affordable.

We've all seen it: strangers marrying at first sight, the search for love and hopeful midlife singles navigating the matchmaking maze. But what hooks us to these shows is the raw, unscripted dance of human connection—something we all crave, especially as we may bring our midlife wisdom to the shows.  Our guest Laura adds texture to our musings, agreeing that the lens of reality TV might be more scripted that we think. Yet, we can't help but marvel at the surprising success stories that emerge, sparking a lively debate on the role of arranged marriages in today's world.   Laura kicks off with insight into her favorite reality show MAFS-Married at First Sight and how decision day is quickly arriving for season 17.  Tish shared why she binges the Indian Match Maker on rainy weekends.  And Ellen shares why she both loved and hated the Golden Bachelor.

Rounding off our open conversation into the realm of televised reality matchmaking and love, we toss around the concept of a reality show featuring none other than us—podcasters in the throes of midlife!  Do you think it could work?  And we tease the promise of co-host Ellen as the new "The Golden Bachelorette," we part with a GREAT reminder to  find joy in every step of the midlife life's journey, and who knows, maybe even one reality TV episode at a time.

Obsessions:
Tish:  Chicken shredder
Ellen:  Anrabess zip sweatshirt
Laura: Qudo stacking rings

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:21

Welcome back to the Positively Midlife Podcast. Today we are indulging in a topic that's a little bit fun, really relatable and a guilty pleasure for many of us reality TV.

Speaker 2: 0:37

Oh, that's so right, ellen. And let's be honest, who doesn't love a good reality TV binge right, especially on those rainy days? You know, it's like a little escape from our normal daily routines and I personally am a huge fan of the Indian matchmaker. It's vibrant culture, the drama and just it has all these really great heartfelt moments that just pull you right into their stories.

Speaker 1: 1:10

You know I've watched that one, but you know I could not get enough of the golden bachelor that just went on. And I did start watching Married it First Sight with our guest who's going to be on tonight's show, and there's something about the mix of hope and love and, just, I mean, sheer unpredictability. You really don't know what's going to happen. Those make me come back to these series again and again.

Speaker 2: 1:36

You know, and of course, like the golden bachelor, which took the series into a different direction when they decided to focus on a 72 year old bachelor for the first time, because it's always been these young people, and so that was really refreshing addition to that particular show and really kind of brought in, I think, a lot more midlife participants and people watching it. Yeah, I loved it.

Speaker 1: 2:05

I know I can't wait to chat about that, but before we get into deep because you know we could talk jump right into this. Let's get to our weekly obsessions and Tish, what do you got for me this week?

Speaker 2: 2:19

You know I've got kind of a little silly one. I have not been into kitchen gadgets like I used to years ago when I did a lot more cooking for the family, but I've been getting more involved in doing meal preps once a week, you know, kind of prepping things for the rest of the week. And there's something about chicken to me that it tastes different in the different ways you cut it or prepare it, right. So sometimes you just need that shredded chicken thing. Well, they have this new gadget where you take the chicken breast that you poached or cooked or whatever, and you put it on these little spikes, put a top on it and just turn it and it has perfectly shredded chicken. Oh wow, so many things you could do with that, so many different sauces and things you could add to it. But to me it just tastes different than when you chop it up, you know. So that's why obsession for this week is a kitchen, a chicken shredder.

Speaker 1: 3:24

You know I like shredded chicken in, like enchiladas, when you're doing that kind of thing. So you're right, there are some recipes or things that you prepare that you want shredded chicken for, absolutely. I will check that out.

Speaker 2: 3:39

Shredded chicken sucks up a lot more sauces, so when you have something that's saucy, that's a perfect time to have the shredded, as opposed to cubed or chopped Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1: 3:50

Well, what about?

Speaker 2: 3:50

you, Ellen? What is your obsession for this week?

Speaker 1: 3:55

Well, in sunny California it has been raining relentlessly for I swear it seems like months, but it's been at least a couple weeks and so I've been really into kind of these cozy sets you know where you're in like these sweats almost sweats, but they're a little nicer than that, like you could actually go out and have a drink with a friend. And there is this very beautiful full zip hoodie, but it has like a really nice kind of crisscross collar on it and it comes in about 10 colors and it's on Amazon and it looks like something that is from Lululemon. I mean they have just done such a nice job on this. So you know, I'm just going it's called the Arabesque Full Zip Hoodie and it is so beautiful and super cozy for this time of year. I know we want spring, but it's not spring.

Speaker 2: 4:54

You know, I just like that elevated casual stuff, you know, and instead of going out on a regular, just, you know, your kid's sweatshirt, something a little nicer and stuff. So I love that that you brought that into the mix. And, let's face it, even as the weather's going to get nicer, where you are up in San Francisco you still have cool nights.

Speaker 1: 5:15

Yeah, and we do. I mean, we're layering all the time, so this piece will be a seasonless piece, like all season piece. Now I know we have our guest, laura, and she came prepared with an obsession this week. So before we introduce her, laura, maybe you want to jump in with your obsession for the show. What do you got for me?

Speaker 3: 5:37

Hey there, ellen and Tiss. So nice to be here today. Thanks for inviting me, and I love your obsessions, and when I was invited to this show, I asked Ellen if I could bring one on for myself. And what I'm going to talk about today is this beautiful ring set that I bought on Amazon from a vendor called Kudo and you know I'm not necessarily a flashy ring where, you know, I just have my wedding band but I fell in love with these rings. They're they sort of walk the line between classy and a little bit flashy, because there is a beautiful stone in each of these rings. They come in a lot of different colors with a simple gold band, and they're absolutely gorgeous. So this is my obsession. I bought three of them because I couldn't decide which stone I wanted, of course, and so highly recommend.

Speaker 2: 6:28

Can you wear them all together, or is it really just one at a time kind of ring?

Speaker 3: 6:32

Yeah, you can stack them as a matter of fact, if you could go on there and look at them, they show them stacked on people's fingers. I think they're kind of big to stack three, but I have worn them with two stacked and they're gorgeous together.

Speaker 2: 6:44

It's sort of a luminescent color.

Speaker 3: 6:46

Yeah, really pretty.

Speaker 1: 6:48

I love that idea of stacking them, but I'm with you, laura, I'm not sure I could stack three rings, but two sounds beautiful Nice.

Speaker 2: 7:01

Oh, I love that. Well, again we have our guest Laura. Laura is a colleague and a friend of the podcast and we just want to welcome you to our show.

Speaker 3: 7:13

Thank you, guys. It's so great to be here. For those of you who don't know, ellen and I have been personal friends and business colleagues for literally decades. I'm literally decades, and I say that I'm a proud midlifer. I have had a long career in B2B technology marketing. I have twin boys who are now 18 years old and they're seniors. So I'm facing the empty nest like you guys talk about a lot. I'm a huge fan of the show, so thanks so much for having me on tonight.

Speaker 1: 7:50

Welcome, Laura, and it's true decades. I like how you said. We've known each other decades.

Speaker 2: 7:58

Okay, so today's episode, we're going to share a little bit about each of our favorite reality TV shows, right, and why we love them, why we hate them and what keeps us coming back for more. Right, that's really what it is. What keeps us coming back for more? And again, I'm going to be talking about my obsession with the Indian matchmaker.

Speaker 1: 8:25

What about you, Laura?

Speaker 3: 8:28

I have had this obsession about a show called Married at First Sight. It's now in its 17th season and I can't believe I've been watching it since season one. Wow, Every time I meet people or I have a new group at work, I try and find other people who have been obsessed with it. I could talk about it with them. But yeah, I'm really a big fan.

Speaker 1: 8:52

I can verify that because Laura did get me to watch this season after many years of trying. So I think I can add to some of the things you're going to chat about with Married at First Sight. But I am going to talk about the Golden Bachelor. I loved the show. I hated the show. It broke in my mind by having this 72-year-old bachelor and all of the women were age-appropriate and fabulous that he had to choose from. So I'm going to chat about the Golden Bachelor.

Speaker 2: 9:25

I love that we each pick something on our own that really revolves around finding that match or finding that mate and stuff in our lives. So that's so funny. But I have a question for both of you what do you think was the first reality show?

Speaker 1: 9:48

The first one I remember watching was Survivor, I think the tribe has spoken.

Speaker 3: 9:55

Yeah, I was thinking of that too, Ellen. Yeah one of those survival shows.

Speaker 2: 9:59

Well, I'm going to tell you, you need to turn the years back quite a bit, because the first reality show out there was Candid Camera. You forgot about it. Right, we think of reality shows as just being this new phenomenon, but Candid Camera was considered one of the first reality shows out there, where they just went out and took people by surprise and got real-life reactions and stuff. So we forgot about where kind of that came from. But yes, there's been a huge burst onto the scene with lots and lots of reality shows, so there's something that keeps pulling us all in.

Speaker 1: 10:42

I have to say that, just doing a little research on this, on why people love it, it's really that people want that voyeuristic view into other people's real lives and I think that that nature it just really draws us in and it's the drama and the emotions and the fights and the making of it. They're so relatable.

Speaker 2: 11:10

Oh, yeah, for sure. And now I'm not sure, I'm not always convinced how much is truly unscripted with these shows. I always have a feeling it's a combination of an outline and a script and then some unscripted kind of where things go. But I always find that the more unscripted it feels to me, the more that I love them. But let's talk about why we think that these shows hold such a special place in our hearts, especially at midlife.

Speaker 3: 11:49

Well, pitch, if I could jump in, one thing I like about these shows especially the ones that I like and sounds like you guys do too, where we're talking about relationships and love is I like to see that other people have similar types of, maybe struggles that I've gone through or emotions that I've had. It's very validating for me to say, oh, I'm not the only one that had that problem.

Speaker 3: 12:14

There's other people out there and I find that very reassuring somehow, and when people do find a happy ending or another way to their true love, that's also very validating. But that's one of the reasons I was so drawn to this married at first sight is to see how other people are struggling and to say, oh, I'm not the only one that goes through this. That's part of it, for me anyway.

Speaker 1: 12:41

You know, laura, I agree with you on that and I always feel like I'm rooting for the underdog too on these shows. Right, I think we really want people to find love and to make that connection, and I do think it's also really interesting that three of us all chose shows about relationships, you know, and I think as we navigate midlife, we're maybe a little more in tune with our emotions, maybe a little wiser, and I think on some level, that makes these even more compelling.

Speaker 2: 13:15

Yeah, I absolutely agree with both of you and I also think there's this aspect of escapism right. Watching these shows allows us to step into a different world, you know, away from our own responsibilities and decisions and the monotony of you know just day-to-day life. Right. For me, it's always a way of just relaxing and unwinding, and which I think is something we all need from time to time, and there's this also part of it for me is living a little vicariously through some of these characters. I mean, I definitely felt like I was at the Bachelor mansion.

Speaker 1: 13:57

This time I was called in Bachelor, so I do feel like it is a lot of living vicariously. What about you, Laura?

Speaker 3: 14:09

Well, I think that's part of it. Vicarious Living. It's also, you know, let's face it, we're usually more advanced in our relationships with some of these people, with the exception of the Golden Bachelor course. But I find it's very funny to watch what some of these folks are going through at Merida First Sides to say you know, I'm yelling at the TV, don't do it, watch out you know that's a trap.

Speaker 2: 14:33

Oh.

Speaker 3: 14:33

I love that. So, there's a bit of that. You know, having the wisdom and looking back and watching these things unfold is kind of entertaining sometimes.

Speaker 1: 14:46

It's true. I love that idea that we hold some wisdom and knowledge around relationships that we can help them through, or we can easily think we do from afar.

Speaker 3: 14:56

Exactly From our CDs. It's like that, yeah.

Speaker 2: 14:59

Monday morning quarterback. This is what I would have done and it would have worked out. So tell us a little bit you know about Merida First Sides. For those who haven't seen the show, oh, yeah.

Speaker 3: 15:15

So for those of you who haven't seen it, let me just give you the premise of it quickly. Usually they focus on one city and they invite singles to participate in the process and they literally get thousands of applicants which is so interesting who want to essentially marry a stranger Sight unseen, it's unbelievable, right. And they, from these applicants, this team of experts, interview them and they assess their readiness to be in a committed relationship and from there they create maybe five or six matches and they vet this over like a six month process. They notify the winners, who then tell their families. And I often thought about what if my kids ever came home and said guess what, mom, I'm in a Marriott, stranger at the altar? I think I would have a heart attack.

Speaker 2: 16:08

Please go buy a dress now, mom.

Speaker 3: 16:11

Yeah, exactly Exactly. So these folks that participated in this literally know nothing about this person. They have never met them, they don't know their name and the first time they see them is when they're at the altar getting married. It's a real marriage too, with a real marriage certificate, and the show follows them for about eight weeks, I think, something like that Until the end they decide if they want to stay together or if they want to get a divorce. So it's absolutely fascinating to me. I think one of my big takeaways from this show is that there is a huge population of people out there and all of these big cities looking for a strong, committed relationship, and they show the applicants coming in and what they hope and dream about, and they really all feel like normal people. To me they're just really looking for that one true love, and what's mixed to show kind of charming and optimistic at the beginning is that you realize there's a lot of people out there just looking for connection. I think that's one of the things I find most drawing about the show.

Speaker 2: 17:20

When you think about these dating sites where it's strictly a visual to take it to the other extreme. I think that's what's so fascinating for me about them is to see okay, take that completely out of the equation and know what happens.

Speaker 1: 17:37

Yeah, I mean in a way, I was going to say in a way it's like the ultimate arranged marriage right, but it's not arranged by your parents, it's arranged by these three experts. So it's wild, that's right.

Speaker 3: 17:53

I mean, you can just tell from these, from what they say, that these are people that at the end of their rope with online dating or other measures and they're willing to put the fate of their future in the hands of these all use quotation marks experts here because they're so frustrated by any other means that are currently available to them. So it's a real commentary on dating and relationships in our society right now.

Speaker 2: 18:20

I think, yeah, there's another show that I watched that's similar. It's called Love is Blind and they go into these little pods and they talk through a screen wall, but they don't see each other. So at least they get to know the person before they see them. But there's still a lot of obstacles and challenges with that.

Speaker 1: 18:44

You know, laura, over these 17 seasons have the experts gotten better at matching people. I mean, do you see improvement or is it still kind of the same?

Speaker 3: 18:56

You know what? I just think it's kind of a crapshoot to be, honest. I mean, depending on the season, there's some they get right. Usually there's one or two that stay together and there have been couples that have stayed together for many years that have had children, so it has worked on occasion. Most of the time, probably the thing that's the most entertaining about it are the ones that crash and burn. To be honest, that's probably the thing that gets the biggest rating. So, what is it?

Speaker 2: 19:26

about these that makes you want to watch them over and over from season to season.

Speaker 3: 19:32

Well, I think the personalities are so interesting. I mean there is the common theme of people looking for connection and love. I mean that's why everyone starts out so pure in their intentions, but the reality hits quite quickly. I mean sometimes right at the altar right. I mean 17 seasons and this is the first one where someone went down the aisle and said no. That's pretty amazing when you think about all the people. This is the very first time someone went down the aisle and said no. Now they did in the season eventually match the person with another bride and that, at least for the moment, seems to be going pretty well.

Speaker 3: 20:15

But it's sort of watching it from that initial point of optimism to see what reality of being married is like to these folks.

Speaker 2: 20:23

Now could either of you see yourselves, if you were single, saying, yes, I'm going to try to be on that show. Do you think other midlifers would say, yeah, I'm in, I'll do this?

Speaker 1: 20:44

To me as a single. Well, I'm single, so I'm just going to put that out there. So, unlike the bachelor that we're going to get to, where you get to know the people, I think at midlife there is no freaking way I would do this, knowing how hard marriage is and how many things can go wrong when you've known that person, I'm going to say hell, no for me. But Laura, what do you think?

Speaker 3: 21:12

Yeah, I would echo that. Alan Plus, I think I happen to be married, but I also have a lot of single friends and the pool of single men that I see. I wouldn't want to take a chance to be honest. Yes, oh, great that. I would want a lot of vetting and more than three experts on that job for me. I would put that way.

Speaker 2: 21:37

You know what the appealing part is, especially if you've been through and I went through a lot of years of dating very unsuccessfully, a lot of crash and burn, and you get to a point where you're like, well, the experts couldn't do any worse than I've been doing, so why do I try that?

Speaker 3: 21:58

Yeah, that's what a lot of them say, exactly those words, yeah, and for some people like I said, it does work out.

Speaker 1: 22:07

I do have to just say that I follow one couple from married at first sight on social media, Jamie and Doug. I think they were from one of the first seasons and they seem so happy. They have two children and she just announced that they're having a third baby and they are reality TV folks. They let it all hang out on social media and they're very authentic and I think it's great.

Speaker 2: 22:38

But kind of going into this idea of you know there are a lot of people feel like they don't have a good feel of how they can pick the right partner, and so that kind of lends itself to this Indian matchmaker show that I love to watch and I just one rainy day I started binging it and I just couldn't, I just couldn't turn it off right and I found it was so fascinating, drawn into the cultural aspects. Yet there's a modern approach to it as well.

Speaker 1: 23:13

You know, tish, I've watched this too and I just absolutely adore the matchmaker herself. She's such a great part of that show. I do want to just bring in a stat here, because you know we love our stats A November 2023 article in Bride magazine, something the three of us probably haven't looked at in years. They report that while the US divorce rate is around 40 to 50%, only 4% of arranged marriages end in divorce, and I bet the Indian matchmaker really touts that stat.

Speaker 2: 23:49

I was blown away when I heard that stat.

Speaker 3: 23:53

And that's incredible yeah.

Speaker 2: 23:55

And it makes you ask the question why is it successful, right?

Speaker 3: 24:02

Yeah, what's the show all about, tish?

Speaker 2: 24:06

So the Indian matchmaker her name is Seema Taparya and she is a matchmaker from Mumbai in India. She does matchmaking in India, but she also does matchmaking in the United States and probably you know other places as well. But she goes all over and she'll meet somebody who wants to, you know, find somebody, and typically it's within the you know the Indian culture. And she'll go and meet with them and, more than not, she's meeting with them with their parents. The parents are there and the siblings are there and the other in-laws are there, and it's like a whole thing. And she'll start asking them and she'll say tell me what you're looking for in a life partner she always calls them life partners Tell me what you're looking for in a life partner. And they will start to give this huge list this outrageous, they got to be this tall, they've got to be a doctor, they've got a lot of superficial things. And the longer the list goes, she starts like Seema, that's her name, right. She starts twisting up her face and she'll say you're only going to get like 60, 70% of that. That's it Like.

Speaker 2: 25:25

And she really starts working with these young people to say stop thinking that one person is going to have just absolutely everything, and if they don't have every box ticked you've got to move on. So you know. But it also gets into what the Indian social norms are. They use astrology. You know the caste system is very much alive in India and that transcends sometimes to the US. So that's another, you know, a consideration that she needs to use. She really pushes them to not worry about appearance. You know she's like she pushes and pushes family values. Family values, what are their values? And I think that's what really warmed me to her, that I'm like you know we're such a superficial society and maybe that's where we're going wrong, you know.

Speaker 1: 26:30

I have to say, tish, that one thing I did note was how it's a family process right for the beginning and she does just cut these young they're all young, they're all you know, in their 20s and 30s down Like she is very direct with them, as you said, and I think that you know she really tries to pull them to focus on, like you were saying. You know, looks may fade but you know, is he a kind person and you know, are your families compatible? That's a big piece of it as well, and so she brings in so many different things but she does not suffer fools with these young people and I think they call her auntie you know auntie.

Speaker 1: 27:18

And so she's even become part of their family. Yes, yes.

Speaker 3: 27:23

And I'm kind of curious Tish to how much individual choice do the actual participants have, or is the decision made by the family?

Speaker 2: 27:33

It's very curious and it really depends on how traditional the family is. There have been some where the mother, like the boy's mother, puts her foot down. This is going to be the one let's go, and her thing is if you have at least 60% compatibility, move it forward. Take the next step. Move it forward until it's until you figure out that it's not for you're going to. But in the culture it is really what they feel is best is when you think that this is good, let's get married. And some of them aren't getting married within two, three weeks, a month or so. I mean, it's pretty fast when it happens, but you do. They do require that the families are on board and you've seen these young people who were brought up here in the United States and the father says no and the daughter goes okay, and they just move on to somebody else. It's very much. Don't waste each other's time. If you don't think there's anything that's going to come of it, just move on, move forward.

Speaker 2: 28:49

She's she. She on one episode was really fascinating because the one girl she was seeing one guy and they weren't communicating how they felt about each other. So it kind of like petered off and she ends up dating this young guy and Seema told her no, this is not a good match, this is, he is too young for you. And she, she went forward with it and it crashed and burned and she come back and she was like you know, auntie, you were right.

Speaker 1: 29:22

And she goes.

Speaker 2: 29:22

I know I was right. I told you it's too young.

Speaker 3: 29:26

Seema probably has a pretty good success rate, I would guess.

Speaker 2: 29:30

You know, I don't know what her success rate is, but I think she does really well and when they're open to this idea, or at least it gets some of these young people to stop thinking that they're going to check every box, physical, all these superficial things and some family and religious things, but she's like, focus on what's important the values. Do you have the same religious values? Do you have the same family values? Does your family like them? Do, does her family like you? You know that kind of thing. So if you haven't seen it, you've got to watch it, because it's good, it's really good.

Speaker 1: 30:11

You know, I just I just have to add, though, I think, that that when the people come to Auntie Seema, they are ready, like Laura was saying on married. At first sight they are ready. They have made that kind of mind shift too. You know, I'm done dating, I want to, I want to move towards marriage, and I think that's one of the things that really makes that show interesting, because, you know, you really see that the whole family gets behind it. But this woman brings years and years of experience across continents to this, to this, to the process.

Speaker 2: 30:57

And what they sprinkle into the episodes is they will show you people who have had arranged marriages and you hear and they'll say, oh, we, you know, 42 years ago, 35 years ago. And they're laughing and they're. You can just tell the affection that's there and it makes you stop in your tracks and say, you know, maybe arranged marriages aren't so crazy. Yeah.

Speaker 1: 31:26

I know sitting here talking tonight I'm like, well, it probably could have worked better than what I did.

Speaker 2: 31:38

But but I think, like you know, back in the day you met people through your family, through your friends, and it was, you know, kind of semi arranged and stuff like that. But we're so far apart from families now and there isn't that setting people up mentality anymore, so I don't know. I think we should be bringing maybe some of this back for sure.

Speaker 3: 32:02

Well, tish, you know it makes me think about how my parents met. I mean they met at a church dance. I mean it was a community church event, and I think there's less and less of that sort of community spirit in the places where we live, where you naturally meet people. I think work has taken the place of some of that. I met my husband at work and now, with everyone working from home, that makes it even more difficult, right? So there's less and less of these sort of communal places where we go, we're all stuck in front of our computers or laptops or phones all the time, where you actually meet people and have those kinds of things in common. It makes it much more difficult.

Speaker 1: 32:43

Yeah.

Speaker 3: 32:44

I agree with you, Laura.

Speaker 1: 32:45

It absolutely makes it much more difficult these days and I think you know that can really be the appeal of getting married at first sight or using a matchmaker. But I want us to move to talk about the golden batch.

Speaker 2: 33:00

I think we're ready. Yeah, the golden batch. Okay, bring it on, ellen. What is this golden bachelor all about?

Speaker 1: 33:08

Well, I do feel like many of us have seen the bachelor and the bachelorette, and that's where there's either a bachelor or a bachelorette and 20 or 25 potential mates for them boyfriends and girlfriends. But you know, that franchise or series I think was getting a little stale and this year, for the first time actually in 2023, end of last year they had a golden bachelor and he was 72 years old, a very nice looking man, and they matched him. There were 22 women that he had at the house. They're always in this gorgeous house somewhere in the hills of California and he was a widower with two grown children, and I think that when I first heard of this, I was like, hmm, I gotta watch that. You know, here's a guy, 72, and I was so hopeful that they wouldn't have like 30 and 40 year old women, but they have a great girl.

Speaker 1: 34:15

Yeah, the women were between 60 and 75. And every single woman, with exception of one, was amazing. So I think again, what happens in the house is all the women are supportive at the beginning and, one by one or few at a time, he gives the ones he wants to stay arose during this rose ceremony and the other ones have to go home. And he had such a great choice. And what was great about this too, and interesting is they did things like skydiving and pickleballing, and you know they're out and about doing a lot of activities on this show and he eventually narrows it down to two women that I feel he led on both of them.

Speaker 1: 35:08

This is the part of the show that I didn't really like. But and then in the end he chooses one and he proposes to them. So this time he proposed to the one lady that I think I was surprised at between the two, but both every woman he had to choose from, as I said, with the exception of one nasty gal, I think were really great matches for him. I don't know, titian Laurie, did you watch the show?

Speaker 2: 35:40

Oh you got that watch, did you?

Speaker 3: 35:43

I did. I had the same feeling, ellen, like I was very curious to see what sort of women they would match him with, you know, if they would have sort of age-appropriate women. And they did, and they were all fabulous. Seriously, there was some great like you'd want to go there and be their friends kind of gals, and so, yeah, I mean I think he did leave on a few at the end. It kind of made me a little bit angry because he had a few unnecessary broken hearts. I thought at the end there that on his road to choosing his bride but it was kind of fascinating to watch, you know it was I think my kids were like, yes, what is that show about?

Speaker 2: 36:28

I thought it was fascinating. You know I'm not a bachelor or bachelorette fan. You know, this idea of knowingly dating somebody who's dating other people in front of your face is really offensive to me. And it becomes this and I really sit because I've seen them before and I'm like, are you trying to win or are you trying to meet this person? And the line was never really clear. It became this fight to win this person's affection and I'm like it just to me. I'm not a fan, yeah.

Speaker 3: 37:11

You know, it's fun to say that because I think this group of women, unlike the normal younger franchise, they had the maturity that the other group wouldn't have brought to that equation. Tish, I think, did a good job of resisting those kinds of behaviors, but you could tell they were very uncomfortable with it too, and it led to a lot of tensions in the house. I understand exactly what you're saying there, that that's not a very comfortable thing.

Speaker 2: 37:43

You know, if I had gone out with them, say, one night, and we had this romantic this, I thought there was a connection. And then the next night some woman walks in and says it was amazing and we did this and I and he's a love Am.

Speaker 3: 38:00

I huh yeah.

Speaker 2: 38:01

Not a fan.

Speaker 1: 38:04

Obviously the Golden Bachelor would not be for you. But all of these women knew that, and I think that's where the drama comes in, because at the beginning they're all like, oh, I can handle it and oh, that's great, you're getting to spend some time with him. And then a couple of them really gotten it, you know, and some of them Maybe had to go home because of a family emergency, and that's the drama when watching it on TV that you like. But I can see that it would be really uncomfortable, I think about, if it were, say, our college group of friends?

Speaker 2: 38:41

right, those were the women. And after a while I would think it would become more of a competition between the girls of who was going to get ahead and it would really be about the person. That's what I'm saying, anyway, yeah.

Speaker 1: 38:56

I mean, what stood out to me was that there were 22 amazing women for that one guy right, and I think that that's what I always think about dating at midlife that it seems like I know a lot of great women who are out in the dating pool.

Speaker 2: 39:13

So the producers of the show Ellen could be available to be the bachelorette. So, oh, you make a super bachelorette Ellen.

Speaker 1: 39:26

Yeah, I mean listen, let's find out more. I would do it, I would love 22 men fighting over me.

Speaker 2: 39:35

And wouldn't your boys just absolutely love that you were doing that. I think Will might die.

Speaker 1: 39:46

I definitely think it would be pretty cringy, as Laura said, for my kids.

Speaker 2: 39:53

You know. But, ladies, I wanted to see if we could briefly talk about the real housewives. You know, and I'm not shocked that none of us picked. You know that series in particular.

Speaker 3: 40:08

No, absolutely not hard. No on that one. I really have a strong opinion about it. That I feel, like you know, for midlife women it is just such a disservice and depicts us in ways that I feel are, first of all, not real. I mean, I don't go around fighting with my friends, or you know the way that those folks are portrayed. And portrayed sorry, and so I really resent that. The way that they have constructed that whole franchise, I'm not a fan of it.

Speaker 1: 40:47

Laura, I'm going to jump in and say I too am not a fan of it and I find those women really reprehensible, their behavior, and it doesn't pull me in. You know how I was saying like the drama on the Gold Bachelor or married it for a site pulls you in. There's something about the real housewives that really, really repels me, and it doesn't matter what city they're in. And I agree it really does give midlife women, you know, a bad rap that we're all you know having plastic surgery and getting drunk and getting in fights and stealing each other's men. Really really bad Tish. Did you ever watch?

Speaker 2: 41:29

the I used to watch. I used to watch a different series and I felt it was more of a scripted series than an unscripted series and it seemed like the bad behavior got them more airtime and it encouraged more and more outlandish bad behavior, one on top of another. But you have to admit that the most iconic moment of reality TV was in the first season finale of the Real Housewives of New Jersey, when Teresa Judas flipped the table. I mean, that was just like that was the epitome of this. Reality TV is going in a bad direction, right, but there was just I mean that was just craziness, right, but it was like that car accident. You can't look away. I couldn't look away.

Speaker 1: 42:28

I know, and that seems so tame. Now you know, 10 years on from her flipping that table, I think even more crazy things have happened, especially on the Real Housewives franchise. But yeah, I do think that you and Laura and I, we all picked love rather than mayhem.

Speaker 3: 42:51

Yes, I like that too. Yeah, very good.

Speaker 1: 42:57

So I'm wondering, Tish, will you watch Married at First Sight?

Speaker 2: 43:03

Yes, I have watched Married at First Sight, I watched the Love is Blind and I even watched the Swedish version of Love is Blind, where I had to read the subtitles on it because I wanted to see was it different over in Sweden? Like, were you know? How did you know? How was it? It really wasn't much different than it was you know here. So, yeah, so I do like those. I find it curious to see how people react when they finally see each other and they start, you know, letting the real them, you know, come out. It's a little painful to watch when you see one person really who's taken by somebody and the other person it's just not there for them and there's just no. There's just no nice way to tell somebody they don't reciprocate those feelings. Yeah, Ouch.

Speaker 1: 44:09

Well, you know, as I said, I have been watching Season 17 with Laura of Married at First Sight and we're getting inching closer and closer to Decision Day, right, laura, where the couples decide if they want to stay married, and I'm sure there's been some pretty crazy hurt feelings on Decision Day in the past, right?

Speaker 3: 44:32

Oh yeah. But Ellen, I got to say if I had to think of prediction, right, I'm going to say there's maybe one of those that are going to stay together. Maybe one of them the season.

Speaker 1: 44:44

Yeah, if they're lucky, if they're lucky I'm going for a goose egg that none of the five couples stay together, so I'm going to just put that out there.

Speaker 3: 44:57

Maybe I'll be surprised I hope so, but you know, when I yeah, when I think about the couples this season, it's probably a good thing. A lot of them go their separate ways.

Speaker 1: 45:07

I'll say I definitely agree. So you know one thing I have to just say as we kind of wrap up the podcast tonight. You know we encourage everyone to embrace reality TV guilty pleasures, and we should have guilty pleasures. I'm just going to say reality TV pleasure because it is a little bit of everything. It's drama, it's love, it's friendship, it's adventure and life lessons and I think you know midlife first, we need a little bit of tuning out to something that is fun and really goes to the human spirit.

Speaker 2: 45:50

Well, I think that's well said. Alan for sure. But I was really thinking shouldn't they have a new reality series called the real podcasters of midlife?

Speaker 3: 46:02

Because I think we can be available for that one right. And.

Speaker 1: 46:11

I think I am with that for the new season of the golden bachelorette.

Speaker 2: 46:18

I love it and but I think you know, just on that note, this is a good time to just wrap up today's episode of the Positively Midlife and you know, we just hope that you are out there enjoying a little reality TV, confessional or whatever, and remember, it's all about just finding joy, embracing life's journey, opening yourself up to new ideas and cultures and whatnot, and you can do that one reality episode at a time.

Speaker 1: 46:54

That's right, and a big thank you to our amazing guest Laura for bringing Married it First site to the show tonight.

Speaker 3: 47:03

Thank you, thank you both so much, so much fun. I appreciate it.

Speaker 1: 47:08

All right, Thanks for tuning in and till next time. Keep finding the positives in midlife. Until next week, midlifers.