Unwrapping Midlife Pet Peeves - Ep. 87

Ever wonder why that one person loudly chewing gum or one upping you in a conversation can drive you up the wall? This week, Tish and Ellen delve into the curious world of pet peeves, those minor irritations that reveal much about our personalities and possibly our past. We examine how these nuisances, from the insignificant to those rooted in childhood trauma, can sometimes unjustly occupy a significant place in our lives.

Ellen and Tish swap tales of the trivial things that under their skin, such as 'Hi' slack messages void of substance and the chronic late friend we all have . We also touch upon more poignant issues, like the sensitivity around peers griping about their aging mothers, which hits closer to home for both of us. Through laughter and genuine emotion, we navigate the maze of life's tiny trials, sharing tips for managing and confronting these frustrations directly or opting for the more peaceful route of simply stepping aside.

Wrapping it all up, we share actionable advice on how to address pet peeves with five actionable steps. From advocating for more meaningful communication to developing a game plan to dodge irksome situations, we lay out methods for overcoming these tests of patience. And as we venture together through the landscape of midlife annoyances, we encourage you to share your stories and join us and share some of your midlife pet peeves on our social channels.


Obsessions:
Tish: Flower chokers - set of 4
Ellen: QUDO stacking rings

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:21

We all have pet peeves, but I thought it would be really fun, tish, on this week's episode, to look into what they are and why we have them, and are they different in midlife. So let me ask you, tish, do you have many pet peeves?

Speaker 2: 0:38

You know, Ellen, I think I have far fewer pet peeves than when I was younger, right, and of course I have some for sure, and I can't wait to share some of them with you, and I'm sure they're going to be similar. But you know, the interesting thing to me is that they say that pet peeves kind of come out of things that we value in our lives.

Speaker 1: 1:08

Okay, Interesting. So they're kind of like windows into our soul, so to speak. That have like attitudes, values or you know things that kind of contradict our values. So officially a pet peeve is defined as something that you or someone finds annoying, right.

Speaker 2: 1:29

Ellen, you know I was reading this recent article in Psychology Today and it was a little shocking because it also suggested that pet peeves could be based on childhood trauma. So the things that we dealt with as children create our adult pet peeves, you know. So, to kind of give you an example, if you felt unheard as a child, you know overshadowed and unheard a pet peeve as an adult may be when someone interrupts you. Wow.

Speaker 1: 2:05

I didn't. I never thought of that perspective, I never thought of them in that way. But as we go through ours, we'll have to both think about it. If they could come from that. But let's face it, Tish, I think we're going to have some overlap and I think that a lot of our pet peeves are going to be pretty funny, because you know what these are minor annoyances that we find irritating and a lot of times these really amuse my kids, I have to say.

Speaker 2: 2:34

They know what your pet peeves are and they're going to like poke you for them, right?

Speaker 1: 2:38

Exactly. Or it just surprises them when I lose my mind over something because I think I'm fairly calm. But I really can't wait to hear yours, tish, and see if we have any crossovers, but before we get into our pet peeves. You know I love this part of the show. What is your obsession for this week? What do you have for me?

Speaker 2: 2:57

Now you know I love watching all the runway stuff. What is the new fashion coming? And blah, blah, blah, right, and so all the rage right now on the runways are flowers, right, and so you know. Here's the thing, though before you go investing tons of money into clothes that have these big, bold flowers on them, my obsession this week is a very reasonable flower choker. Okay, so actually we're going to put a link on here, yes, but you can get a four pack so you have a variety of colors, so you can add that little bit of a rose to you, but just as a choker, right?

Speaker 1: 3:39

Wow, could you also use it as a belt, do you know? Because?

Speaker 2: 3:45

you know it looks like it wraps the neck a little bit because I haven't ordered mine yet, but I'm definitely ordering it because I, you know, do want to be a little fashion trendy. But I'm not investing, you know, big money into these flowers because I have a feeling this is going to be a one season wonder. But, you know, for under $15 to be able to add it to an outfit, tie it on a purse or, you know, you can do a lot of things with it, put it in your hair, so yeah. So that's my obsession this week are these flowers, because I've seen them all over the runway this season.

Speaker 1: 4:20

Well, you sent me a photo and I think they look so fun and you're right. You could use them, I think, in a lot of ways. So check out that link everyone, and I love how you're always looking at runway trends, Because you know, I'm not, so you are helping me.

Speaker 2: 4:37

Well, I look at them and say what can I use out of my own closet to reconfigure Whatever? But anyway, that's another show. But Ellen, what is your obsession this week?

Speaker 1: 4:50

Okay, so my obsession are these rings that stack on top of one another, and there is a really beautiful Italian brand that I see, that I've tracked called Pomelato I think it's called Pomelato. It's this Italian brand and there's big, chunky crystals and you put two or three or four together. I found the most beautiful knockoff of these rings on Amazon. Okay, it's a brand called Kudo UUDO and these are square crystals with 32 facets. I got three different colors of pink, because you know I love pink. I know you love pink too. You just stack them on top of one another and, super cute, you're getting that high, high end. Look, you know, it's one of those high, low kinds of things.

Speaker 2: 5:45

I love the high low.

Speaker 1: 5:46

I love the high low. These rings come in so many colors. You can get an emerald color, a sapphire color and a ruby color, or you can go they come in three different colors of tan or three different colors of green, so you can put kind of a monochromatic look together too, and they are $65. And they look like the $3,000, $4,000 rings I've been, you know, lusting over.

Speaker 2: 6:15

So I love it. I love it. That sounds like a nice, like Valentine gift or Easter basket gift.

Speaker 1: 6:23

Or Valentine's gift to yourself.

Speaker 2: 6:27

I love it, I love it.

Speaker 1: 6:28

All right, we'll put a link to those, but I love it if any listeners order them, if they can share either their stories with the flowers or with the Kudo stacking rings.

Speaker 2: 6:39

Love it, love it. I want to just jump right into some of the science behind pet peeves. Right, and our listeners know we always like doing research on our different topics and stuff, and so in doing so, we found three universal pet peeves, according to Parade Magazine. And so, ellen, can you share with us what are these three universal pet peeves?

Speaker 1: 7:07

I sure can. First, I want to say I used to love reading Parade Magazine. When we got the Sunday newspaper, it was always the best. Okay, these three came as no surprise to me, Pish the fact that they bugged everyone across so many cultures. Loud chewing, interrupting and one upping. I mean, who does not get annoyed by those three?

Speaker 2: 7:32

Right, right, and I loved how you mentioned that it crosses different cultures, because that was one thing I thought. Is this like an American phenomenon? Now, different cultures have different names for it? Right, but we call it pet peeves, but it's all the same thing. So it is kind of a universal concept and yeah, so these are definitely interesting ones. For sure, I think some of these were were ones that bothered me more when I was younger and I kind of let go of some of these more universal ones. Mine are definitely different than these, but and maybe, being deaf in one ear, I don't just turn my good ear away from the loud chewers, I don't know.

Speaker 1: 8:22

That's so funny. I know loud chewing doesn't bother me, but I think there's actually like a word for that, like a syndrome with loud chewing. It's something that's known. But let's talk about the types of pet peeves. There are three types. The first is social, which happens when there are violations to social norms. There's environmental that are expressed, you know, pet peeves around sounds and smells. And then there's interpersonal pet peeves, which I think I have the most of those. Those are the ones that are generated with people were around often.

Speaker 2: 8:56

You know, I think for me the pet peeves that probably I have most of are social ones. You know, I'm like, I'm like all about the rules. You know there's there's social rules and when you break those social rules it makes me a little cray cray.

Speaker 1: 9:13

That is so funny that that is what makes you crazy. I mean, I have not. I have so many there across the spectrum and I'm not sure I have less as I've gotten older. Tish, I think we may be opposite there. I think I may be have more, but when we decided to talk about this and I sat down to kind of really seriously think about it, they were pretty easy to identify. How about for you, tish? Were they easy to identify?

Speaker 2: 9:42

Oh yeah, I think you know. I think you know over time that we just we just know the things that annoy us and so we don't really think about it too much. But as you know, I was unpacking some of what these pet peeves are, you know, I really had to take some internal looks and then again, reading about behind the science of it, like where do they come from, these social ones? And you know stuff that happens from our youth and things like that. So it really made me start to think. But, ellen, like what is your biggest pet peeve?

Speaker 1: 10:18

All right. So this is coming to. I think this might be a surprise. The low-cockers are my biggest pet peeve for a number of reasons, but mostly it's hard for me not to wanna jump in and finish their sentences and help them get to the point. And then I'm an interrupter, which is, you know, one of those universal pet peeves, right, and it's like all I wanna do is say this talk faster, come on, get to the point. Get to the point, get to the point. And I have a few slow talkers at work and a slow talker in a work environment. I mean, you don't even know what that does to me. How do you feel about slow talkers? Tish.

Speaker 2: 11:06

Y'all. I have just learned, living in the south, to take a breath of these slow talkers, oh man, and to appreciate it and stuff. I literally was with a friend of mine in a store when I very first moved down here and she started snapping her fingers in this woman's face to get her to talk faster. It was outrageous, but I think, yeah, again, it's this. But it makes me wonder why does that bother you? So Are they? Do you feel they're wasting your time?

Speaker 1: 11:49

I start getting anxious, like there's an anxiety that comes in which is like hurry it up, hurry it up. And maybe it's from growing up in like the Metro New York area in New Jersey.

Speaker 1: 12:02

There's some part of like just get to the F and point my friend. But I never thought about how you know where you're living. Tish, you know folks are, just they talk a little slower and you have to accept it and maybe some of this is at midlife. We just have to roll into acceptance. But I wanna move on and see what your number one at PIV is. Can you share.

Speaker 2: 12:29

I would have to say people who are excessively late and they don't give you heads up about it. That really drives me crazy. It just speaks to me of a lack of disrespect and again, I think it goes into that social norm thing that you know, do you not value my time, that you feel it's okay, I don't care if someone's a few minutes late. You know stuff happens. But you know I've had some people in my life that have been like crazy late and you want to just start telling them that something starts like two hours before it really does. So they're there on time, you know, but it was, and I've had, you know, friends of mine and I think this is a little bit of a cultural thing. I have a group of African-American friends and they always laugh about this because my friend Deb in particular. She'll say to me you know, feel free to come early if you wanna come. Like you know, white girl on white girl time.

Speaker 1: 13:38

But I think there's a lot of cultures that have that Like I have a couple of other friends and they think it's fine, it's super acceptable, and so I do think this late one is a cultural thing. And you know, I wanted to ask is it that these friends, or this friend, or whatever, are chronically late? It's always that they're late, or is it just when they're late they're disrespectful to your time? They don't call, or.

Speaker 2: 14:09

I think the the, the lateness that bothers me, it's not the I've come late to a big gathering, that's. That doesn't bother me as much, as I've planned to do something one on one with you or with a small group.

Speaker 2: 14:23

And then that one person really like you're waiting to order a meal, you're waiting to sit down, you're running late to you know an event and now it's all rushed and crazy and and stressed, you know Right. So yeah, so that's, that's more of it for me. So excessive lateness, pet peeve, extraordinary for me. Give me another one of yours, alex.

Speaker 1: 14:52

Okay, all right, so you know where I live. Is the mountain biking capital of the world allegedly invented?

Speaker 1: 14:59

here, but the weather is so good and in Northern California people are cycling all the time and we have this thing share the road but so often there are cyclists that ride two or three across in the road and I find it really, really, really irritating to me because, of course, we're on small roads and we want I want to be safe, right, and sometimes I just feel that they're they, they are audacious, there's just an audacity, almost like hunting the driver of a car. You can see how much this bothers me. But it translates into people who walk two or three across on a on a sidewalk too, and you know, you just want to get by them and it's a sidewalk, there's limited space. So I think this goes to people's awareness when they're just not aware or they're only self-aware, and so the cyclists and the sidewalkers, self-aware or selfish, do you feel it's selfish? It's selfish, it's selfish, yeah, yeah. And so that really bothers me. I mean, yeah, in a way, now that I'm saying it, tish, it's silly a little bit.

Speaker 1: 16:17

But again, pet peeve is a pet peeve. We do not have to justify it, we just have to talk about it in this episode. Right, give me your number two pet peeve. What do you got?

Speaker 2: 16:29

Well, I was going to say with the cyclist, that's not an issue here, but South Carolina does not require helmets for motorcycle riders. Oh, wow. So we have a huge population of motorcycle riders that are riding around without helmets too, right, so it's a little. It's a little crazy, you know so. Sometimes they, you know, hog up the road, but at least they're going the speed limit, the speed limit as well, okay. So here's another one of mine People who decide it's okay to talk during a movie. You're at the movie theater and they are going to talk. They're asking questions around their cell phones. They're it's like hello. That bothers me. It's like stay home then. Stay home and watch your TV. You've come to the movie theater. Can you at least not have a conversation during the movie?

Speaker 1: 17:32

You know, I find that very irritating too, but also people who take out their phones and answer texts during a movie. Right, it's the whole. It's the whole thing. I go to a movie to completely escape from my real life, and I love how dark and quiet it is, right, and that you're just really. You're really escaped. You've really escaped life. And so I do have a couple friends, though, and I'm not going to name them, but they do ask a lot of questions in a movie and I'm always like I'm watching the same movie as you are. How do you think I know who that guy is, or whatever? And so that does come up. There are a few people, but they're not having conversations. It's more like who do you think that guy is, or it's you know that person's mother?

Speaker 2: 18:24

Well, I'm naming names. I, I one of my BFFs, judy, my we're. I know I have really good friends. Oldest friend in the world from Buffalo. I will not go to the movies with her anymore. She asked 10,000, what do you think is going to happen now Exactly? I can't even hear what's going on because you're asking all the questions Again. That's the whole idea, I'm watching the same movie. Why does it? Why do I let it bother me? So I don't have to answer her.

Speaker 1: 18:52

Great, just get like quiet quiet, quiet quiet there. Oh my gosh.

Speaker 2: 18:58

Yeah, oh well, that's funny. All right, lay another one on me, ellen, tell me another one.

Speaker 1: 19:04

Well, first of all I have to say that one's a crossover. I have it too. It does not make it into my top dish, but all right. You know, at work we use a thing called Slack, but it's just like an IM system and most everybody uses it when you, when you want to have something answered. It's very commonplace. But you're trying to focus and you see a Slack come in and it makes a noise and you're like, oh, that's somebody I should really look and see. You know again, kind of like a text, like when a text comes in, but you're like, okay, I've got it, I've got to look at this, and all the Slack or instant message says is Hi, ellen. It's like you just interrupted me. I've come to see what it is you need and you've done nothing but say Hi, ellen. And I don't know why this bugs me so much.

Speaker 1: 19:56

It's like if you're going, to if you're going to disturb me, you're going to interrupt me. Tell me what you want. Let me see if I can help you Now. So then I have to write back. Hey, raj, pam, hi, what is it that you want, right? So is that something that bothers you at work? Tish, do you have a lot of that kind of interruption? Not?

Speaker 2: 20:19

at this particular job. At previous jobs we had a lot of instant messaging and stuff. And no, it didn't. You know, I actually preferred the IM over an in-person visit because I was going to be shorter. So I would just say, I would just say, yeah, you know it was. I always took it as are you busy, and if I didn't, if I really was busy, I wasn't going to respond and I'd get back to them later. But have you ever gone back to the perpetrators of the high Ellen and said, hey, the next time you send me an IM, can you just put the whole message together and then that way I can answer you faster and even if I'm in the middle of something, I can still answer you.

Speaker 1: 21:09

That would take all of my pet peeving away. What are you talking about here?

Speaker 2: 21:17

Okay. So we want to, you want to continue to embrace that pet peeve, okay, no, no, I mean all the peeving aside, I think he's solved my problem on that one Absolutely 100%.

Speaker 1: 21:31

Okay, so no crossover there. What's your next pet peeve Tish?

Speaker 2: 21:36

Okay, this one really aggravates me and the biggest perpetrator of this is my Walmart that I have to go and check myself out so they're not providing that service anymore. And then they have the audacity to stop me at the door to check my receipt as if I'm a thief. You've gotten me to do your job of checking out and paying all on my own, without any assistance, and then you're gonna treat me like a thief at the door.

Speaker 1: 22:18

Okay. Why does that make you feel like a thief? The checking Do they check everyone? Do they check self-checkout and regular?

Speaker 2: 22:28

No, it's a random thing. They'll stop and say can I see your receipt? I see, I see.

Speaker 1: 22:34

Cause, you know, like Costco.

Speaker 2: 22:36

If you were so worried about me stealing, then provide people to check out.

Speaker 1: 22:43

Well, I mean, I thought it was maybe like Costco. No matter if you self-check out or someone else checks you out, they check your receipt at the door and then they say oh, we're just making sure you. They act like it's not about seeing if somebody stole in something, it's like what else are you here for?

Speaker 2: 23:02

That's really interesting, that Walmart does that and I find it highly offensive and it is a huge pet peeve of mine that you've now asked me to so you can save money, and then you treat me like I'm a thief and that I need to be checked.

Speaker 1: 23:22

Are these the greeters that are bored? Are they bored greeters that then turn around and become, or are they different people?

Speaker 2: 23:30

I think they're different people, I don't really know, but and I've been told by some people you are not required to show them anything.

Speaker 1: 23:40

I know it would be nice if you just said no thank you and continued walking. That could be a good response.

Speaker 2: 23:48

But it's like how embarrassing. People start looking at you like, oh, what were you trying to? They look in your bag, they look in your basket Like what was she trying to sneak by? Yeah, and I do find it very offensive. Yeah, and I've told the greeters. I said I don't appreciate it, that I've checked myself out. Now you treat me like a thief and I'm very vocal about it directly through them. But yeah, that's a big pet peeve.

Speaker 1: 24:15

Any listeners that are working for Walmart or have any connections to Walmart, please take this up, because it is making tish, because you know what?

Speaker 2: 24:30

Integrity is like number one for me, right yeah, and to intentionally take something that doesn't belong to you is just not it's just never acceptable to me, Right? And so to be treated like somebody that would, because you didn't provide enough staff to check me out, oh yeah, that's a crazy. That makes me crazy.

Speaker 1: 24:54

Okay, no crossover here. No crossover on that one. No crossover here.

Speaker 2: 25:02

Okay, so what about you? Let's move on to your next one.

Speaker 1: 25:06

My next one has to do with air travel and I have had this happen twice and on my recent trip I was sitting in the middle on a middle seat in coach class and this woman came in and we got up to let her into the window. This other gentleman was on the aisle and she was on her phone and she sat down next to me, closer than most people sit next to me, and she continued to talk on her phone. She had on ear pods, but the whole 20 minutes until the plane was taxiing and she had to get off, and it made me so angry, it was so rude and it was something this was not. She wasn't a doctor giving instructions about a post-op surgery patient, or it had nothing to do with that. And it was like what part of we are all sitting in this tiny row and you are talking loud right next to me for 20 minutes and I gave her my glare. The glare did nothing.

Speaker 2: 26:16

The glare did nothing, just so that you know Social disapproval, the social like what are you doing?

Speaker 1: 26:25

And she was a lot younger but she wasn't like a teenager or anything. So I wonder if maybe that is an age thing where I think that it's rude. I think it's rude. Would that have bothered you?

Speaker 2: 26:43

You know what the cell phone use. That really drives me like insane when I am in a public restroom and somebody is going on and on and on with conversations as they're sitting on the toilet.

Speaker 1: 26:59

In a public toilet.

Speaker 2: 27:02

So I will continue to flush repeatedly. So a little aggressive, it's never very passive. Aggressive, yes, never deterred them. Oh my goodness, I thought you can't, and to me it's just this social decorum. I mean, you're in a public bathroom and there's like you can't Give somebody enough privacy not to be on a public call. I don't know that one just has me like cuckoos.

Speaker 1: 27:39

Yeah well, if I had a toilet to flush next to this woman in my Airlines seat, I would have done it.

Speaker 2: 27:49

Sort of coffin and coffin and coffin. Oh my gosh, but it's, it's. But it's funny how we do that. You know that we Try to. You know, give the stare. You know that thing like excuse me, do you not know the social contract here? You're breaking this social contract.

Speaker 1: 28:10

Do you know that's what it really comes down to me, no, and I know for you, so many of these are around that social contract, and as well as me, but I think, I think those social contracts have gone out the effing window, sure dish, oh, oh absolutely.

Speaker 2: 28:27

Yeah, yeah, it's, it's. It's like the Wild West out there when it comes to social decorum, it seems. Now I know that you and I both have this last pet peeve we're gonna talk about.

Speaker 1: 28:41

Yes, thank you for bringing this one up. And you know, tish, both of us have lost our mothers. We lost our mothers within a month of each other 20 years ago, and when we lost our moms we each had our last baby within that month. So you know, I know that this comes from from a reaction to that, but one of my pet peeves is when women are age, you know kind of Not bad about their mothers or complain about their mothers, and I know elderly parents are a huge stressor. But you know, all I ever want to say to these women Is like, please just stop, like I can't, I cannot even listen to it. It's so painful, this one for me and I.

Speaker 2: 29:36

I have to stop myself from having a reaction that seems too strong when I'm with friends that are doing this, or acquaintances or wherever I am, when they complain about their mothers what I try to do, because it does it really, you know, rear something in me that's very, it's very offensive to it, right, but what I try to get across to, you know, friends who do this is, and I will say to them, I would give anything To have that problem with my mother just to have another day where she aggravated me or did this or did that. You know. So that is a huge thing, you know it is. I try to get them to understand, appreciate every day. Don't let your, your elderly parents failings Irritate. You. Try to stop yourself and appreciate every moment you have, because they're running out. Yeah, you know, I know, I know. So that was, that was a tough one.

Speaker 1: 30:49

I like how you handle it. I think what I do is I, you know, keep it inside and I Hercolate on it in a not so healthy way, but you know, but that that makes me like you know, kind of.

Speaker 2: 31:03

As we, because I know we've talked about a lot of our. You know different ones, but it's funny because you know, as pet peeves, we really should be trying. We shouldn't be letting them get to us like they do, right, we should be addressing them, we should be dealing with them and Understanding where they come from and why they come. I think is important part of you know, lessening all those small aggravations.

Speaker 1: 31:33

You know, tish, I think that that research is really helpful for us around this and, I think, addressing them, laughing at them in that very healthy way, laughing at ourselves, right, but taking that path that we talk about a lot on the podcast, which is, you know, really the positive part of Life, and the Zen path, I think that that could be. You know, it's really good for all of us to not let these get to us to To an extreme extent.

Speaker 2: 32:11

And I think what would be good practice for us to do right now is talk about like maybe five different ways that we can handle the feelings that cause pet peeves. Okay, let's do it, and first you know we're going to be talking about the I am thing by saying next time you I am me. Please put your issue down so I can help you.

Speaker 1: 32:28

I think that that's a really great thing. The others remove them. I mean, you can really remove yourself from a lot of these situations, but I think that's a really great thing. I think that's a really great thing. I think that's a really great thing, but others remove them. I mean, you can really remove yourself from a lot of these situations and I think, rather than let yourself get too riled up, if removing yourself is the best thing to do, then go ahead and do it.

Speaker 2: 33:01

Make yourself right, you know for that excessively late friends, you know, don't make dinner plans with them. Say, hey, let's just understand what's going to happen, we'll see you for dessert. I love that, you know. I think you know another way that you can deal with these pet peeves is to change the structure, create a plan or process to change, just like that I am, you know, right. Say, hey, look, when you send me, when you need me, go ahead and put the whole thing right out there. I will get to you faster than the back and forth.

Speaker 1: 33:43

Yeah, I really like that, and you know. The next one is to share your annoyance and I think sometimes this is really more of interpersonal ones with people that are in our life and in our orbit Not some woman who sat next to me on a plane. I could have easily said excuse me, I find it annoying that you're talking on your phone or it's time for you to put away your phone. I'm not sure I would do that, but I would and could, on a lot of these especially, you know, when it's with a kid or someone in my life Really be like hey, you know what, can we, can we make this different? So a lot of it again is advocating for yourself, which here at midlife we talk about a lot, right.

Speaker 2: 34:24

Yeah, and a lot of people might not realize that something that they're doing is really, you know, affecting you so much, right, and, and you know we talk about things that happened in our childhood. The lady next to you isn't going to know that something you know, whatever it is that triggers it. So sometimes these pet peeves come across as Like, why are you making such a big deal about it? Right, but I'm telling you, ellen, I wouldn't confront anyone on a plane. I have watched far too many tick tock where people have lost their minds, that they've had to get air marshals involved. Oh yeah, land planes early to drag people behaving badly off of planes. So you know, I guess you have to say you know because you don't know how people are going to react you could start like, you know, freaking out and you know how, how do we redirect or whatever right?

Speaker 2: 35:24

So ultimately we just need to chill out about it or Confront it, and you're gonna have to just weigh those different paths. And I think, when it comes to strangers, you know you're not gonna be changing anything that they're doing, just chill If it's, if it's somebody that you're constantly having these negative interactions with, is Can confront it and not in a confrontational way necessarily, but just to address it, say you know, I don't know if you realize, but this really drives me crazy and you know what can we do about it? You know how can we change that, because I don't want it to sour our interactions with each other and I think, as, as we get older, you know we need to be voicing, especially in our circle. You know we need to be voicing and letting ourselves heard, but also Stopping for a moment and saying why is this bothering me? Yeah, you know, I'm not the child that wasn't heard. So if somebody interrupts me, just, you know, smile and nod you know, that kind of thing.

Speaker 2: 36:40

So I think you know, ask, start asking yourself why does this bother me so much and Should it continue to bother me so much?

Speaker 1: 36:50

I like that a little introspection, a little digging deep and and on some cases, letting it go. So I would like to invite all of our listeners to drop us your pet peeves, your midlife pet peeves, social channels, let us know, or send us an email so you can find us on Instagram.

Speaker 2: 37:13

You can find us on tick tock. You know we have the positively midlife pod calm, so definitely reach out. We love to hear from you.

Speaker 1: 37:23

We love it. So till next week, midlife first.